I'm so behind on stuff! I have clothes from iGigi to review, memes to fill out, about ten thousand and one knitting projects, fluffy fiber to spin on my wheel. And my house.. fuggetaboutit, I've lost total control of the house since getting the stomache thing. But I was tagged for something that's been provoking my thoughts all week so that's magically moved up to the number one spot. The inimitable Vanessa, aka Pluckypunk, who was tagged by Zuzu at Feministe, tagged me for a seemingly simple meme called Five things feminism has done for me. Plucky punk is one of those secret friend crushes for me. You know those blogs you read and feel like that writer would be such a cool friend to have in real life? She's made some big changes this year: quit her evil corporate job, had a baby, went back to school. And she still manages to be active in the online feminist blog world. And she bought my craaaaazy scarf during the Katrina fundraiser last year! And she wears doc martens! So she has great taste in shoes and accessories too! I was surprised that she tagged me because I've mostly been blogging all about knitting and very little about anything else lately. I used to be quite the politico-blogger, once I was called a pundit, but this became more of a knitblog than much else as the hobby took over my life during the last year and a half. Don't get me wrong, I still rant the political in person! But I made a conscious choice to cut down on the political and really personal posts for my blog a while ago. It keeps the mean commenters away and my mother from worrying that I'm going to get firebombed or something. She reads this ya know. Hi Mom! This tag has given me something to think about, something interesting to discuss with Cody. I want whatever I write to be well thought-out and not just imitating other's answers! And I want to focus on positive aspects, not complain about things that need to change, just enjoy the good parts for the moment. All this buildup for five things. I guess I should get on with them. Five things Feminism has done for me I can choose my family Obviously I don't mean parents and siblings, although I got lucky there anyway. I mean I can choose who I marry. Or to not marry. Or if I want to just live with someone. I can choose to have children, or to not have children, or just have pets and treat them like children. Maybe to have children later on. It's up to me. My father can't sell me to a man for a goat (not that he would, obviously). I won't be forced to marry some creepy old gross man so I can clean his house and birth his little farmhands. My choice. Mine. I can choose my career Career is sort of an odd word for me since mine has been sort of not a career, as such. But what I'm doing now is not far off from what I wanted to do when I was young: Stay at home and create art. You know that character Whoopi Goldberg plays in Moonlight and Valentino? Her life (awkward marriage aside) pretty much nailed what I'd always wanted to do. It actually spooked me when I saw it. The art I'm creating is in a different medium than I expected, I thought it would still be pottery. It's a little different because I thought I'd live in a more country setting and have kids. But never say never. The important part is, I was able to choose my major in college and get a really good education. And if I want to, I can go get a post-graduate degree or go get a "real" job if I want to. Or both. With the full support of my friends, family, and mate. There are so many smart women in my life that have worked and gotten advanced degrees. Both my and my husband's moms worked. My mother put herself through college working, along with my dad. She has a master's degree in mathematics. She taught and worked and even had her own business for a while. My sister has a master's degree in English and works and travels for work and is always crazy busy. My best friend has a JD from law school and is back in school for her LLM to be a law librarian now while she works in the library for a law firm. My father-in-law once asked me if I thought that a woman who got a college degree then chose to stay at home with the children was a waste of an education. (he does his best to have what he thinks are progressive conversations with me, so I try to give him the benefit of the doubt with questions like this) Right off the bat I pointed out that the important part was that she had the choice to do so. And that college-educated fathers had the same choice. And studies have shown that educated parents will raise smarter children. I wouldn't say that an education exists simply for career advancement, for most people I've known, it's been for the education itself. I am not a possession This was touched on with the first one but it goes deeper than that. When I go to the doctor they won't let Cody go in with me. I actually don't like this as I want him with me because doctors make me nervous and just his presence calms me down. But the reason behind him not being allowed into the exam room is important enough that I don't fight it: they want me to answer the questions, not him. They want to be sure I'm healthy and if I need to say something about issues that I don't want him to hear or to answer any questions about potential abuse, that I can freely without his coersion. Of course, I don't need this, but I want other women to have that so I accept it. I am secure in the fact that I am an equal in our marriage, that I have the same amount of input in all decisions and will be heard if I have an opinion about any subject. We joke about him being called Cody Pendent and to a certain extent we are codependent. And we like it. We desperately need each other, but equally. I am not just a little living extension of his success as a man, I am his partner. He goes to work to get money so we can live a happy life together. I stay at home so the pets are healthy and the house is mostly intact so when he comes home we can live a happy life together. But the tables have been turned in the past, there was a time when I worked and he stayed at home. We know what it's like to be in the other's spot. I can choose to look however I like. Sure there are still people who think that women should act, look, or behave a certain way to be a "proper woman" but in this society in general, I can choose to wear a dress or not without getting stoned by the populace. I don't have to wear a corset, hell I don't have to wear a bra. And the worst punishment for that might be someone takes a picture of my saggy boobs with their camera phone and makes snarky comments on their blog. Big freaking woo. I can also choose to be the girliest girl that ever lived in girltown. And it's ok because it's my choice. I don't exactly approve of Barbie and her clothes but I defend to death the right for her to wear them. As long as she doesn't give me crap about mine it's ok. I can have an opinion I can write this post without worrying that I'll get arrested, threatened, shunned by my friends and family, or tarnish my (already oxidized) reputation forever. I've written on touchy subjects ranging from religion, the president, the war, dumb movies, evil media conglomerates, unbelievably weird sado-masochistic murder mysteries, to the defense of fun fur and freestyle handspun art yarns. I may joke about the threat of getting firebombed for my writing but only in the most minute little corner of my mind does it seem like a reality. I've had some ugly comments on my blog once or twice calling me a dumbass pinko liberal or something but not once did someone threaten to come here and shoot me or my dog. Someone did threaten to shoot out my tires once but she's from Texas so that seemed to be a matter of course. That's the big one to me. You may not agree with me but I can have this blog. And I can choose who I'm voting for in a month. And on that ballot I'll have to choose between two women for the US House of Representatives for my district: incumbent Heather Wilson or the current state Attorney General, Patricia Madrid. No men in that election. How about that? So now I'm supposed to tag people. I hate the pressure of tagging people. So don't freak out if you're tagged and you don't feel like it ok? I'm going to choose several smart women whose answers I'm genuinely interested in. Beverly Ramona In fact, everyone in the stitch and bitch group? Consider yourself tagged! Jocelyn Susan Colagirl My sister Or if I didn't tag you and you want to write about it, please link in the comments I want to know!