Yes, that's right, for the first time, here's the first meeting between Impulse and Superboy. Proof positive that the 90s were full of rock. Yeah, I know, stupid costumes and Frank Miller wannabes (back when Frank Miller was someone you wanted to be), but hey, at least everyone wasn't raped or murdered or both (or evil after being raped and murdered, like Northstar. Oh, Northstar, this kind of thing happens when you're written by Mark Millar). Bart & Kon... it's kinda like Snakes On A Plane, isn't it? Admit it, you could've clicked the cut and only seen that and you would've stayed home happy. First, meet our narrator, Kaliber. He's the sole good guy on a planet full of bad guys. Kinda like V, only more entertaining. And orange. First panel: Fanservice AND manservice. Something for everyone! Anyway, Half-Life won a Meta-Cycle (not the Supercycle, that's a completely different vehicle! Although I do wonder if Superboy ever drag-raced his old team's vehicle against his new team's vehicle. He totally would, I think.) in a game of Truth & Dare, so... That last panel is just begging to be Photoshopped. Tell me, what "just three words" SHOULD Superboy have said? What do you, the audience think? Oh, what's that now? It's MARK WAID WRITING THE FLASH. 90s > you. FOREVER. The reason Half-Life is behind the times is that he's a teenager from the 50s whose family was killed by aliens. Now he wants revenge! 90s still > you. Kaliber is kind of a superhero version of Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. Let's admit it, if it were possible to mate with a comic strip, you would totally have that final panel's babies. Let's see it again in slow-motion. BOOM! HERE COMES THE BOOM! READY OR NOT, HOW DO YA LIKE ME NOW!? Okay, I'll admit, I repeated that just so to distract from the overwhelming sorrow of this first panel. What can I say, the 90s giveth and the 90s taketh away. But the 90s loved you while they could... Except for Hal Jordan. But Hal was a punk and the only reason he got a resurrection was that Geoff Johns wanted to touch his penis (or, for a game of fun Mad Libs, replace "Hal Jordan" with "Oliver Queen" and "Geoff Johns" with "Kevin Smith." Now, prove me wrong, internet, prove me wrong). THE 90s WILL TREAT YOU RIGHT! LEAVE THE 00s, THEY'RE ABUSING YOU. COME TO THE 90s, WHERE ALL YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTERS ARE PRETTY AND WITTY AND... Don't you think I look good in this hat? Also, is it ever a joy to be able to stop using my Clone High icon for Superboy posts? But the 90s also had angst. Not "oh, your pregnant wife just got murdered and retroactively raped and you also might have prevented her from being resurrected" angst, but actual REALISTIC angst. And by realistic, I mean "it didn't suck all the fun out of everything ever." And with that appropriately bittersweet ending, we say goodbye to Kon and Impulse. So long, guys. Maybe you can come back when life in the comic book world doesn't suck so much. Word to the wise: If you see a flippy blonde running around in eggplant and kissing Tim, you'll probably come out A-OK. Take care of yourselves, and each other.