OK, that’s it — i’m so totally burnt out on going over and over all the failures of NOLA both then and now. been reading my head off since late last night which, of course, led to the usual heavy drinking and the other Stuff. more, even. so i’m holding off on my part II of this particular atrocity for a little while longer if i don’t kill myself as i read through everything i’ve saved again. i needed a break, so thanks to Steve of Dr FeelGood i finally broke down and watched Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe on BBC4 the last couple of nights. the entire show is hilarious mostly cause he uses subversive wit and cynicism to spice up his running commentary on UK TV. and being the 8 year old i really am inside, i laughed my ass off even more at his persistent use of ‘twat’ and varieties of ‘fuck’ et al., in his descriptions of sucky programmes and/or the media in general. although i didn’t recognise half the cultural references since, among other things, he goes off on British TV soaps like Emmerdale or Eastenders or whatever (shit that i’ll never willingly watch in like a million years, not even if my eyes are glued open at Gitmo) his message comes through loud and clear to all who watch TV, even to a stoopit American like me. ‘The show’s premise is that it is a television programme about television programmes; the cost, the suprising amount of work and beaurocracy involved, how programmes are selected for broadcast, and (usually scathing) analysis of specific programmes and genres. Brooker often pays particular attention to the more obscure channels available on satellite, freeview and cable, such as those dedicated to gambling, shopping, horoscopes, and pornography. ‘He explores the probable effects of television in society, and how often programmes can create in the viewer feelings of inadequacy, depression, fear, and anxiety. To balance things out a shade, usually one segment of each show is dedicated to positive reviews, with analysis on why the style and content is so absorbing.’ last night he went into rhapsodies about Deadwood and of course, i found myself totally agreeing with him you motherfucking motherfuckers. altesse: ‘That’s what I love about the British media: every time something pretentious, ridiculous or just plain evil is produced, the counterattack is already hard at work exposing, ridiculing or spoofing it to shreds. It’s checks-and-balances with a vengeance, it’s the Medusa’s headgear turning upon itself.’ from his wiki: ‘…a British comedy writer, cartoonist, reviewer and television presenter. His humour tends to be savage and profane, with some surreal elements… this kills me: ‘…In February 1998, one of Brooker’s one-shot cartoons caused the magazine to be pulled from the shelves of many British newsagents. The cartoon was entitled “Helmut Werstler’s Cruelty Zoo” and professed to be an advert for a theme parkcreated by a Teutonic psychologist for children to take out their violent impulses on animals rather than humans. It was accompanied by photoshopped pictures of children smashing the skulls of monkeys with hammers, jumping on a badger with a pitchfork, and chainsawing an orang-utan, among other things. The original joke was supposed to be at the expense of the Tomb Raider games, known at the time for the sheer number of animals you could kill. The original title, “Lara Croft’s Cruelty Zoo”, was changed for copyright reasons; this meant that the cartoon’s intended object of humour was not realised.’ i love it: ‘On October 24, 2004, he wrote a column on George W. Bush and the forthcoming 2004 US Presidential Election which concluded: “John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley, Jr. — where are you now that we need you?” ‘The flippant remark was picked up by the Drudge Report, which ran it as a headline. The matter was immediately referred to the Secret Service in Washington DC, who allegedly contacted both Drudge and Brooker over what was regarded by critics of the comment as an illegal (in the U.S.) incitement to murder the President. The Guardian quickly withdrew the article from its website and published and endorsed Brooker’s apology.’ from his recent Guardian column Supposing … Americans are the nicest people on earth: ‘Greetings from America, where everyone’s so bloody friendly and laid-back and nice it makes you want to puke blood in their faces…’ from another: ‘Here’s a little project for you. Stroll up to someone in marketing, and after screaming “YOU SICKEN ME” in their face because they bloody well deserve it, ask them to define the term “branding”…’ LOL, anyone who thinks like Bill Hicks is a total fave of mine: said the late great Bill ‘By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing… kill yourself…’ continuing with Charlie, ‘Chances are they’ll start babbling about “consumer consciousness” and “product personality”, at which point you scream at them a second time. Hey presto! You’re getting a cathartic workout, and they’re learning something valuable. Everybody wins. Apart from them, obviously. ‘But don’t go feeling bad. Once you’re done yelling, they’ll drive off in a car so obscenely expensive the glovebox alone is worth nine times more than your house, and spend the rest of their lives dancing around in a shower of banknotes, champagne and beautiful naked people, all paid for by their fat-bollocked marketer’s salary. Because despite being utterly pointless, theirs is one of the most well-rewarded careers in existence. Which is why you punched them in the face in the first place, remember?…’ some YouTube swipes: CB: ‘have you ever watched TV and thought ”oh can’t we do better than this?” (’Sorry, but it’s a system inadvertently designed to help foster The Bland…’), on Britain’s top soaps, modern fame is bullshit or ‘40 seconds of fame’, the baby mindreader (an actual dude) and much much more. fucking hilarious — Charlie Brooker, i love you and hereby crown thee King o’ TV Snark or whatever.