Mindfucked. Mid-March already! And one week already since I sat here fighting with Photoshop to give my cartoon representation a bouncy, full-bodied, Pantene Ice Shine ponytail! (failed.) Where is my life going. And dudes, wtf. I ask if I'm funny and I get all of zero responses. Huh! Hellooooo! Am I talking to the walls! Or in this case, computer screen! Because I do enough of that in real life already, I wouldn't have to uploading my life for all to see on the WWW in order to achieve that end! Anyway. Still exhausted from being out clubbing two nights in the previous week, having one hour's sleep on Friday night and going in to campus for a nine-hour shift of ambassadoring. The longest ever. And alone! With no AV technician present! Nearly died when the event organisers freaked out about not having three microphones ready as requested and we had to taxi in the awesome technician from the Waterloo campus to save the day. I got to listen in to the conference for free though, which was brilliant...basically top tips for doctors applying for specialty training. Stop press: I kick guinea pig ass. Teehee! Everyone else did "La Historia de Brasil" and Isabel Allende and the elections in Mexico (! - you can tell I'm taking this class at the LS of E. Back at King's we used to learn ten different names for preserved pork.) and I spoke about roasted guinea pig, el plato nacional de Peru. (Behold me, epitome of intellectual depth.) In a presentation I started like three hours before the class. Hoho typical. No matter how long I have to do something (here, = five weeks) I will mull it over for nearly the entire period of time and then sit down and believe desperately in my erstwhile latent Powerpoint-speedchurning abilities in the last couple of hours. And THEN I went and misplaced my USB stick!!! But found it in the end. Hmmm. At least they laughed. That's a good sign, right? To justify my rare burst of hard work it has to receive maximum exposure. So: pictorial summary! Guinea pig, alive. Guinea pigs, alive. Don't "awww, so cute" just yet. This is how they breed guinea pigs for food, on the rooftops of high-rise apartments in Lima. One lesson to be learnt from Medicine: never get too attached to anyone or anything. Guinea pig, in all its roasted glory. Also served fried; marinated in beer and stewed; grilled with peanut sauce. Like satay, methinks. Apparently tastes like a cross between rabbit and chicken. Healthy choice of meat: 21% protein, 8% fat, comparable to white meat. Not bad for a mammal. However, a bit too bony. Which leads us to... ...Guinea Pig, Supersize. Look how the centre rodent is twice the size of its understandably intimidated counterpart to its left. Estimated weight 1kg. Fuuh. The culmination of 30 years' worth of research conducted at a top Peruvian university. Just so you appreciate how seriously Peruvians take their cuy... 18th century painting hanging in Cusco City Cathedral. Typical Last Supper, no? No. Look at the dish in which Jesus and his disciples are partaking. GUINEA PIG!!! Of course guinea pigs were first bred for food. In the Andes. Only when 16th century Spanish sailors brought them back to Europe, and Queen Elizabeth decided to keep one as a pet, did the world begin to be repulsed by the idea of eating guinea pig. Except in South America. Now convinced you want a taste? Short of flying all the way to Peru, (Just lifted this image from Google Images. I don't know what clubhouse is being referred to. But this map is nice because it shows the location of Cusco as well.) you can try it right here in London!!! Tito's Restaurant, London Bridge. Just the street parallel to Guy's campus actually. My Peruvian tutorial mate tells me it's good. Not sure I'm up for trying the guinea pig, but anyone up for some Peruvian cuisine someday? :) *curtsy* Wikipedia has everything! Its guinea pig page tells me guinea pigs can get scurvy, asthma and ketone-y breath in pregnancy. Astounding. Now to cough up three pieces of coursework (including a CV in Spanish. Wtf? I'm just going to make everything up.) and study all of Beginners 2 Spanish for final exams in two already overloaded days. Waaaah. I'll be happy if I pass. Reminder to self: Spanish was never going to be a priority this year so no pressure. No pressure. NOoo pressure... and History of Medicine Powerpoint right afterward. Great. What should I talk about. Uhmmm...later. Time to get ready for yet another take at the hospital. This instalment of hospital stories has been pre-empted. We will be back as usual next week. Plenty where those came from!