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1.   Lawler’s Laws of Decency: Clips Mouthpiece Slapped for Gentle Microphone Anthropologizing
When I was in college, the Clippers’ TV broadcasting team was Ralph Lawler and Bill Walton and the Clippers were terrible. Now officially retired, Walton is following Ratdog across the country or something and gets an entertaining, fittingly love/hate sendoff from fellow Pomona alum Chris Ballard in ...

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 17:08:00 GMT - http://www.cantstopthebleeding.com/?p=20334
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2.   Clippers Annoucers Pay The Price For Mistaking Iran For Khazakstan
Los Angeles Clippers TV announcers Ralph Lawler and Michael Smith were excused from last night’s game against Denver after a season ticket holder complained to Fox Sports about the duo’s remarks concerning Grizzlies C Hamed Haddadi during a Wednesday contest with Memphis. For Lawler, this was the first ...

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 16:32:00 GMT - http://www.cantstopthebleeding.com/?p=20337
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3.   The Sports Putz Vs. WEEI : Simmons Suspended….
…from using Twitter? What’s next, no text messaging or posting on message boards for the only thing standing between Sarah Palin and a no.1 best-seller? “Bill’s communication regarding WEEI fell short of those standards. So we’ve taken appropriate measures,” writes ESPN.com’s Rob King, essentially giving ...

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:26:00 GMT - http://www.cantstopthebleeding.com/?p=20332
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4.   Matthews : Mets Should Give Up On 2010
Whether Newsday’s Wallace Matthews has become an acolyte of Fantasy Pros911’s Patrick DiCaprio or he merely prefers the idea of Omar Minaya doing a Donnie Walsh impersonation, I can’t say for sure. But Matthews might’ve actually penned a column rational Mets fans might agree with, the Amazins-baiter ...

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:21:00 GMT - http://www.cantstopthebleeding.com/?p=20329
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5.   Non-Political T-Shirt For T.O. To Wear During A Future Press Conference
Absolutely, positively, not part of Reebok’s AFL throwback line. $11.99 from these savvy businessmen, though if you ask me, they ought to give J.P. Losman a substantial discount. They couldn’t have done it without him.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:58:00 GMT - http://www.cantstopthebleeding.com/?p=20326
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6.   Oakley & Dolan’s Invisible Daughter : Just Good Friends
Though I’ve never been asked who I’d like to dine with if I could choose from any 3 individuals living or dead, I’ve no trouble selecting the trio off the top of my head ; “Iron” Mike Doskocil, the late Laura Carter and former Knicks PF / Charles Oakley. Slam’s Nick Rattner interrogated Oak recently ...

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:32:00 GMT - http://www.cantstopthebleeding.com/?p=20323
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7.   Wanted : A Dozen Tickets For LSU/Ole Miss, Anywhere Besides The Sodomite Section
The Daily Revelle’s Xerxes A. Wilson writes the Klu Klux Klan are coming to Oxford, MS for tomorrow’s LSU / Ole Miss clash, and they’re not looking for Jevon Snead’s autograph. Shane Tate, the North Mississippi great titan for the Mississippi White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, confirmed via e-mail the ...

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:54:00 GMT - http://www.cantstopthebleeding.com/?p=20321
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8.   Formerly Toothless Labor Union : Out With The NFL’s Skull Doc
Sorry, I just can’t get enough of using the phrase, “skull doc” Barely a week goes by without the New York Times’ Allan Schwartz reporting on findings that draw ties between NFL head injuries and one-way tickets to Vegetable City. On Friday, Schwartz reports the NFLPA, less than alarmed when Gene Upshaw ...

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:19:00 GMT - http://www.cantstopthebleeding.com/?p=20319
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9.   Rock, Chalk, Dump On The (Really Big) Head Jayhawk – Open Season On Mangino, Continued
Not to condone the allegedly abusive behavior of Kansas head coach Mark Mangino — especially the stuff that seems creepily directed at players who come from tough backgrounds — but the large & (at the moment) in charge educator’s methods just happen to be under scrutiny when he’s in danger of losing ...

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 04:18:00 GMT - http://www.cantstopthebleeding.com/?p=20317
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10.   Ohlmeyer : ESPN’s A Victim Of It’s Own Celebrity
Former NBC exec Don Ohlmeyer is really coming into his own as ESPN’s new ombudsman, particularly if you believe said role oughta to involve shameless shilling for his new employer. “Storytelling at its best…dynamic tales filled with heroes and villians” is Ohlmeyer’s frothy assessment of the network’s ...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:59:00 GMT - http://www.cantstopthebleeding.com/?p=20315
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